What’s MINE is MINE, and whats YOURS is YOURS!

MONEY is commonly “misquoted” as being “the root of all evil!”  HOWEVER, it is the “LOVE” of money that gets us in a world of trouble!  Divorce in our country is at an all time high, and if you had one guess, what do you think the number one cause of Divorce is today?  Yep, you guessed right!  MONEY!!  Financial stress is the number one killer of marriages!

I personally believe the traditional wedding vows should be changed to sound more like this:

I, Rimpology, take thee, Mrs. Rimpology, to be my lawful wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, OR WHENEVER YOU ASK ME HOW MUCH MONEY I HAVE IN MY PERSONAL BANK ACCOUNT!  CUZ WHATS MINE IS MINE AND WHATS YOURS IS YOURS!

Really that’s what some of us are doing, we are trying to become “ONE” in everything else but our finances!!  For the first 3yrs (My wife would say 5 or 6) of my marriage, I was totally selfish! I can admit that now.  I was under the misguided impression that because “I AM THE MAN” I had to control “MY” finances!  I look back at my life then and the majority of our arguments were over how I handled “MY” money!

Through prayer, wise counsel, and much patience given me by Mrs. Rimpology, I saw the error of my ways! If we were to attain the true ONENESS that life partners are to have, I knew I would have to tear down this barrier I’d built up of secrecy, and selective exposure of what is now “OUR” money, and no longer just “my” money!

Today, I can now look at what we went through, and diagnose the problem with two FATAL words in reference to marriage,, NO COMMUNICATION!  When you enter a union with financial “secrets,” oneness with your spouse can never be accomplished!  Many couples today boast about having separate bank accounts, and successful relationships embracing the “whats mine is mine, and what yours is yours” way of thinking.  Is that really even possible??

It’s quite funny to me that most people are more comfortable sitting around the dinner table and talking about their sex lives before they’re comfortable talking about money.  It is my personal belief that separate bank accounts can be a good thing for relationships ONLY if it is accompanied by proper and full communication!  Look, I totally understand that managing your own bank account is empowering, and a life skill that nobody should be deprived of.  It brings personal accountability, budgeting, and a sense of financial pride to the owner of the account, no matter what the balance is.  Even slowly digging your way out of debt is something to be proud of if you can say you did it on your own. I can literally talk about this forever. But,  I want to hear from YOU!!

If you agree with having separate accounts, what are some of the pro’s you’ve experienced in doing so?  What are some of the cons?

Perhaps you agree that it should only be one pot, and that we share everything!  What are the pro’s and con’s that you experience?  Do you think complete oneness with your spouse can be achieved with separate bank accounts??

Lets discuss this!  Appreciate the feedback… Rimpology101   THINKING OUT LOUD!!  Peace

 

 

 

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10 thoughts on “What’s MINE is MINE, and whats YOURS is YOURS!

  1. this is why i asked the question on your last entry…any sucessful relationship is give and take, and more importantly COMMUNICATION. it truely doesn’t matter(today) who the breed winner is!
    nice follow-up post Neon

  2. I GET ALOT OF MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY WHO CANT UNDERSTAND WHY MY HUSBAND AND I DO EVERYTHING 50 50 THEY FEEL BECAUSE MY INCOME IS MORE THAT I CHEAT MYSELF .. I DONT FEEL THAT WAY I LOVE THE UNDERSTANDING WE HAVE AND IT WORKS FOR US……WE BOTH HAVE OUR OWN ACCOUNTS BUT WE ALSO HAVE A JOINT ONE WE PUT BOTH INCOMES IN OUR JOINT WE PAY ALL BILLS AND WE SPLIT THE REST AND THATS HOW WE BUILD OUR OWN SEPERATE INCOMES..THAT MAY NOT WORK FOR EVERYONE BUT IT WORKS FOR US…NICE TOPIC

    • I also think it is essential to have an account where both parties can access the funds. How a family handles their bills varies but a great way to have your “seperate” money is by opening multiple accounts with your personal bank. That way the hubby will have his own card and so will the wife but they are both connected to the same savings. I hope that made sense 🙂
      This is also a great way to manage your money as well, you can have a seperate card for things such as gas, groceries, and bills.
      Bottom line keep everything out in the open.

    • Sometimes, whats right for your family is just that,, RIGHT FOR YOUR FAMILY!! Don’t look for others to try and “understand” whats goes on in your house! Just make sure husband and wife are on the same page!

  3. I have a seperate account where I have 15% of my pay deposited. The other 85% goes to our joint account. My seperate account is for hanging out with friends or when I’m out of town I use that money. Most of the time I do Christmas, Valentines and anniversary shopping with my account because my wife is nosey and she’ll figure out what I’m doing if I use the joint account.

  4. Living in a culture of changing beliefs, changing values, and dare I suggest – changing morals – the real issue becomes to whom shall we listen. Yes, money does affect every aspect of our life including and not limited to our beliefs, values, and morals. Those who hold the gold makes the rules by which the masses shall live.

    A wise man once reflected – In all thou ways get an understanding. Since we are talking about “ownership” here, the money economy is the default in the western world.

    Unfortunately, those who hold the gold and make the rules keep the masses in the dark regarding sensible options to navigate the system. Why? Because the objective of the rulers is to horde all the gold they can as quickly as they can and for as long as they can.

    The solution is to make financial literacy a priority for all. Understanding the very language of money is crucial in truly appreciating what is our real property and holding others like the rulers responsible so this money economy will not collapse around our necks. Teaching others to fish doesn’t have to start after one gets married, have babies, accumulate tons of student loans, acquire a mortgage, and or decide a retirement plan which best suits his or her family long term financial needs. In fact my friends, the sooner an individual acquire good money management skills, he or she will be able to transfer and apply these same skills in the areas of their beliefs, values, and morals. Lets make it a priority to hold each other accountable.

    • LT!!! Appreciate the feedback Sir! Excellent comment! Holding each other accountable definitely should be a priority! Love you man, and I called you back as well! we definitely have to catch up! Appreciate the support of rimpology! It means quite a bit to see your feedback!

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