A few weeks ago while reading the New York Times online,I came across an article that said “Why Househusband’s Are the Future”…. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the statistic of the growing number of households that now embrace this once uncommon role reversal in the modern family.
I must admit, the thought of being a “househusband” has never crossed my mind in 10 years of marriage! At first glance, like any other alpha male, the first word that came to my mind was “lazy!” But as I read the article I was amazed at the writers praise of the husbands who are “Man Enough” to take on such a role! Man enough! Really?? Well lets look at perhaps some positive reasons this reversal of the modern-day husband/wife role may take place.
1. Wife makes more than Hubby! – What do you do when your family begins to grow, you have a couple of kids, house note, couple car notes, and you make 50k annually. You’re struggling everyday! Wife is a certified physician who gave up her career so that her kids would not be raised by daycare’s, and family members you really don’t trust! Role reversal? Makes sense to me!
2. Husband is disabled – I have friends who served this Country in the worlds greatest Air force who are now incapable of holding down a 9-5 job everyday. Role reversal? Absolutely!
3. Husband is retired – Husband has a steady stream of income coming in! Average military member retires between ages 39 – 42! Role reversal? maybe!
4. Husband is a prior felon – This is an all to common reason some men either go back into a life of crime, or stay at home while the wife brings home the bacon! Yes I understand that it was his bad choices that made him a felon, however if prison “rehabilitated” him as it is meant to do, he should have a chance just like every other citizen to earn a respectable living! Unfortunately with a felony on your record today, its hard to get a job even at the local McDonald’s Restaurant ! Role reversal? Unfortunately yes…
So before we pass judgement and call these men worthless lazy bums, we have clearly established that we agree in some cases this reversal is understandable. Now lets look at perhaps some negative reasons this role reversal is taking place.
1. He’s LAZY! – This is the type of man who can work! Has the ability of all of his limbs, however he “chooses” to stay home and watch Andy Griffith all day while his wife struggles to keep food on the table! He probably relies on government assistance, and rules his home like a dictatorship, taking all the money his spouse has earned to spend it on his own selfish ambitions!
(I have to step away for a minute. I’ve typed myself upset just thinking about it!)
2. He makes his money illegally – Some men will just hustle until the day they die! It’s a sad commentary, but its the truth. Some men are home all day while wife works, and when she gets home at 5pm, they hit the streets and make money. He makes it home before 9am, wife is as happy as she can be, kids are with dad, and he just bought her a whole troth of Coach and Michael Kor’s purses, and all her children have the new Jordan’s! Living the dream! Not really…..
3. He has dreams of being the next “Super Star Rapper” – Now some of you will disagree with me on this one! To become the “next big thing” takes TIME! It takes a tremendous amount of work and hustle to get that deal! I understand that these men are pursuing their dream, and perhaps the motivation may be to provide for his family.. My question to that brother would be this… “At what cost?” Your kids being left alone, while wife is at work, and you’re on the road? How can you focus when your family is under unnecessary stress and worry while YOU chase YOUR dream? As men sometimes we have to make sacrifices! Even sometimes sacrificing our dreams and personal ambitions for the welfare and safety of our families..
4. Your wife wears the pants – She tells you what to do, and when to do it, and you’ve chosen to shut up and do it! If that’s you, then I have no words for you at this time!!
So if you are a “HOUSE HUSBAND” and proud of it, I applaud you, “IF” indeed you and your spouse have agreed on whats best for your family. Truth be told, that’s the only thing that matters, that you and your spouse “agree” on whatever decisions are being made. Be confident! Being a “homemaker” doesn’t make you less of a man. Actually most women would probably say you have the hardest job in the world, at least my wife would 🙂
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