I’m a “HOUSE HUSBAND” and I’m proud of it!!

 

 

A few weeks ago while reading the New York Times online,I came across an article that said “Why Househusband’s Are the Future”…. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the statistic of the growing number of households that now embrace this once uncommon role reversal in the modern family.

I must admit, the thought of being a “househusband” has never crossed my mind in 10 years of marriage! At first glance, like any other alpha male, the first word that came to my mind was “lazy!” But as I read the article I was amazed at the writers praise of the husbands who are “Man Enough” to take on such a role! Man enough! Really?? Well lets look at perhaps some positive reasons this reversal of the modern-day husband/wife role may take place.

1. Wife makes more than Hubby! – What do you do when your family begins to grow, you have a couple of kids, house note, couple car notes, and you make 50k annually. You’re struggling everyday! Wife is a certified physician who gave up her career so that her kids would not be raised by daycare’s, and family members you really don’t trust! Role reversal? Makes sense to me!

2. Husband is disabled – I have friends who served this Country in the worlds greatest Air force who are now incapable of holding down a 9-5 job everyday. Role reversal? Absolutely!

3. Husband is retired – Husband has a steady stream of income coming in! Average military member retires between ages 39 – 42! Role reversal? maybe!

4. Husband is a prior felon – This is an all to common reason some men either go back into a life of crime, or stay at home while the wife brings home the bacon! Yes I understand that it was his bad choices that made him a felon, however if prison “rehabilitated” him as it is meant to do, he should have a chance just like every other citizen to earn a respectable living! Unfortunately with a felony on your record today, its hard to get a job even at the local McDonald’s Restaurant ! Role reversal? Unfortunately yes…

So before we pass judgement and call these men worthless lazy bums, we have clearly established that we agree in some cases this reversal is understandable. Now lets look at perhaps some negative reasons this role reversal is taking place.

1. He’s LAZY! – This is the type of man who can work! Has the ability of all of his limbs, however he “chooses” to stay home and watch Andy Griffith all day while his wife struggles to keep food on the table! He probably relies on government assistance, and rules his home like a dictatorship, taking all the money his spouse has earned to spend it on his own selfish ambitions!

(I have to step away for a minute. I’ve typed myself upset just thinking about it!)

2. He makes his money illegally – Some men will just hustle until the day they die! It’s a sad commentary, but its the truth. Some men are home all day while wife works, and when she gets home at 5pm, they hit the streets and make money. He makes it home before 9am, wife is as happy as she can be, kids are with dad, and he just bought her a whole troth of Coach and Michael Kor’s purses, and all her children have the new Jordan’s! Living the dream! Not really…..

3. He has dreams of being the next “Super Star Rapper” – Now some of you will disagree with me on this one! To become the “next big thing” takes TIME! It takes a tremendous amount of work and hustle to get that deal! I understand that these men are pursuing their dream, and perhaps the motivation may be to provide for his family.. My question to that brother would be this… “At what cost?” Your kids being left alone, while wife is at work, and you’re on the road? How can you focus when your family is under unnecessary stress and worry while YOU chase YOUR dream? As men sometimes we have to make sacrifices! Even sometimes sacrificing our dreams and personal ambitions for the welfare and safety of our families..

4. Your wife wears the pants – She tells you what to do, and when to do it, and you’ve chosen to shut up and do it! If that’s you, then I have no words for you at this time!!

So if you are a “HOUSE HUSBAND” and proud of it, I applaud you, “IF” indeed you and your spouse have agreed on whats best for your family. Truth be told, that’s the only thing that matters, that you and your spouse “agree” on whatever decisions are being made. Be confident! Being a “homemaker” doesn’t make you less of a man. Actually most women would probably say you have the hardest job in the world, at least my wife would 🙂

I want to hear from YOU! I appreciate all of your support thus far! Your support motivates me to keep writing..Thank you! Rimpology101.com

 

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19 thoughts on “I’m a “HOUSE HUSBAND” and I’m proud of it!!

  1. A couple things:

    First, I see you’ve upgraded the page. Great look.

    Second. Great topic! Very well written.

    I was a stay at home mom for many years and it is HARD WORK. With a 9-5, your job is done when your shift is over; but as a sam your home IS your job. It’s your focus. So when you’re always there, you always find and have work to do. Sometimes I would stay up to the wee hours of the morning getting work done. Sometimes, I wouldn’t go to bed at all. If a couple agrees together that dad will be stay at home and be the caregiver for the home and children, and he takes that role seriously, and it’s what’s best for their family (as opposed to mom being at home); then who I am to judge. I would be happy just to see a happy & successful marriage and family.

    But.

    My issue is this, (not to sound negative) we don’t see that often enough. From what I have witnessed that’s not usually the case. I have seen too many, essentially, single mothers with a live-in (husband or boyfriend) who is living off of the family. Maybe him being the caregiver of the home and children was the arrangement, but what wound up happening is that mom works like a dog all day then comes home and has more work to do. So, for all intensive purposes, mom is essentially a single mom as far as providing income, emotional support, caretaker of home and children, etc; and dad is essentially a “placeholder.” That’s such a poor model for the children I can’t help but wonder if it’s worth it.

    But, like you said. There are two sides to the story. I’m just glad to see that people are realizing how crucial it is to have a parent at home with the children. It’s a great sacrifice to give up a source of income, make adjustments to your spending and lifestyle to put your children first. Very commendable. Great read Sish. Keep it up.

    • So true my friend! Really enjoyed reading your comment, especially about the single moms! I so appreciate your feedback! Can’t wait to see your blog when you start it up!! Peace

    • DT! Man your feedback means a great deal to me! I appreciate the support and Im looking forward to seeing in you few days! Genesis is always blessed by your Ministry! Peace

  2. I think that the idea of a “Househusband” is awesome. Men work hard all the time to take care of the family. Women in our present day society have so many complaints about the role of the male and what the male is not doing that the idea of househusband should not be a problem to the modern woman – who complains that her individuality, intelligence and money has been the reason men have been intimidated to date them. Well, this househusband idea gives them no excuse.

    • Absolutely not! Especially not in todays society when women are making just as much as men… Im sure it bothers prideful men, and some women use that very thing to downgrade there spouses. But no, it doesn’t take away from the headship at all. Great question! (You actually just gave me an idea for my next blog!) Thank you!

  3. I could be wrong but I thought society’s description of a house husband was someone who did everything a housewife does like cook, clean, wash clothes, iron, make sure homework is done, after school activities are covered, grocery shop, keep everyone organized and on schedule, run erands, and etc. I feel if the man and women are supposed to be role reversing and the husband is at home chillin on the couch watching TV while the wife is out working hard providing a living he is A LAZY BUM!!! Yes, it hard getting a job when you have a criminal history, so the husband might have to depend on his wife’s salary. Since he knows that, he should be considerate, peel is his lazy butt off the counch, making sure the grass is cut, trash is out the house, dinner is on the stove, bathed and looking descent, kids completed homework, and are calm and peaceful when she gets home.

  4. I was a “house husband” for 10 months when I was unemployed. I felt emasculated when I wasn’t working but I made sure to make myself useful. My wife didn’t have to worry about cleaning anything. I ran most of the errands during the week so my family could actually spend the weekends together doing stuff together. I never got comfortable but my wife loved having me at home. We actually had a serious talk about me staying home because we didn’t have to make arrangements to pick up my daughter. I was able to go on class trips with her and everything but my ego wouldn’t allow me to stay home.

  5. Sish. We were amazed at how much money we actually saved having me at home. I have a side business that helped but having one parent at home made a huge difference in how much stuff got done at home and how I was able to be more active with my kid at her school. I wish the economy would allow at least one parent to be home again.

    • Im sure it works for some families, I tried staying home once for about a month when I went through a transition in my career. I took a month off before I went back to work, and like you, I have a few sources of income coming in, and I almost thought about staying home and going back to school full time! The only difference is that I didn’t want my wife to ever have to work, we agreed that because we had so many children at one time, it was best that she stay home! It was cheaper, and relieved me of a great deal of stress worrying if my kids were being treated right. During that month off, both me and my wife were ready for me to go back to work! I messed up her routine of managing the home, and I was bored out of my mind! It was fun maybe for the first week, after that it was time to go to work homie! Aprreciate your comments Big Tone!

  6. Hello from the UK, I have just became a “House Husband”. I was in a reasonably well paid job as a Parts Manager for a Car Company, but unfortunately lost my job. My Girlfriend does earn a very good wage so it wasn’t too much of a financial issue. We have decided that I should become a House Husband for a variety of reasons. We fell into the trap of financial rich but time poor and both of us were too worn out at the end of the day to spend time with our five year old daughter (we would both have to spend several hours doing work at home) and also do the normal household chores!! Since becoming a House Husband, all of the chores are done when our daughter is at school and when my Girlfriend comes home the house is spotless and we can both relax and spend quality time with our daughter. I believe that if one member of a couple can stay at home and do all of the jobs needed to be done without claiming state welfare then it is a very good thing and in these days of equality, it really shouldn’t matter if that person is the male of female!!! P.S. Sorry if some of the terminology that I have used is different to common terms used in the US!!! 🙂

    • Frank thank you so much for commenting on this blog!!! Wow, from the UK huh? Awesome!! It sounds like the system you and your family are using works for you guys! That’s great!! Thank you for sharing your story.

  7. I’m single and don’t have a live in girlfriend, so I have no choice but to provide for myself. I don’t see this changing when I finally do settle down and find Mrs. Durousseau. No offense to all the “men” out there who are happy being house husbands, but I’d feel like less of a man if I had to rely on my woman for my well being, even more so if were just shacking up with her and living off her section 8, welfare, food stamps, and her annual tax refund.

  8. You’re right man. I apologize if my comment made it seem like all house husbands are lazy bums who have no balls in their sacks. Far from it. If him keeping the home together is what works best for that particular family, then who am I to judge?

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